Look at the Moon, Remus
by Shiny Objects
Summary: Hermione and Remus look at the moon. A moment in the lives of a werewolf and his lover. RLxHG slight references to RLxHGxSB


**"Look at the Moon, Remus" **

**Disclaimer:** I do not own these characters and I promise I will not profit monetarily (or in any other way) from this writing. We all know this amazing world sprung from the unique mind of JK Rowling and she deserves all the credit and recognition.

**Author's Note:** this vignette may eventually be merged with another story, "Of Wolfsbane and Boyfriends". We'll see after I write another chapter or two. Not canon. Hermione is all grown up, and Remus and Sirus are still with us, and with her.

o-0-o

Hermione climbed the stairs of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place to the second floor study. It was one of her favorite rooms: the soft chairs, warm fire, large window and, of course, the books. But what really made it her favorite was that it was where she could always find her friend and lover, Remus Lupin. This room was where she, Remus and Sirius spent their evenings, reading, talking, just living.

Remus was in his usual spot, wearing his reading glasses and favorite tattered cardigan. She mussed his hair as she walked past him to open the draperies. He always closed them, she always opened them.

"Oh, Remus," she said breathlessly, "look at the moon!"

He did not look up from his book. "Um, no, thank you," he replied quietly and with finality.

"But look how close it is! It's just above the trees. I love it when it's that low. It's so dark, almost orange. Look, it's beautiful," she tried again, her hands still on the draperies, she looked over her shoulder at him.

"Hermione, you know how I feel about the moon. It is not my friend." He still did not look at her.

She stood in place for a moment more, then finally let loose of the drapes, throwing them all the way open first. She turned off the two lamps that were lit, so the only light in the room was the small fire in the grate. She moved to stand behind Remus' chair, draping her arms around his neck, resting her hands on his chest and her cheek against his temple. She waited.

Her lover sighed. "You're not giving up, are you?"

"I'm here. And you know it'll be days until it's full," she replied, almost pleadingly.

Slowly he turned his head toward the window and looked at her moon. She could feel his muscles tense, but he did not look away. They were both silent and still, lost in their thoughts.

After a few moments she spoke quietly, barely whispering in his ear. "Have you ever talked to the moon?"

He was not reveling in the experience as much as she, but answered anyway. "No, not really. Howled, I suppose, but talked... no. I take it you have?"

"Not for some time." She continued to talk as if half in a dream, or from somewhere far away. "I was always fascinated by the moon. When I was very young I spent summers at Grandmother's. In late August the moon always rose directly over a small hill a short distance from the house. It looked so big, so close. I loved the warm, dark color. So much nicer than its normal cold glare. When it looked like that I thought of it as him, not it. I would sit and wait for him, and as soon as he appeared, I'd try to catch him. Sometimes I'd run. Sometimes I'd try to sneak up to him. But he was always too clever, too fast. By the time I'd get to the top of the hill, he'd be too high in the sky, out of reach." She paused for a moment, remembering. "One day I decided I'd out-smart him. I snuck out of the house and sat on the hill, waiting for him to come. But he was still too clever for me. He hid from me and finally appeared over the next range of hills. I thought that was terribly cruel of him, to tease me like that. Those hills were too far away. Grandmother would let me go that far. So, after that, I knew I had to be content to watch him from the house."

Remus closed his eyes while she spoke, picturing the little girl chasing the moon. "And what about talking to it? What did you say?"

"I don't remember words, exactly. Just thoughts, feelings. I wished he could visit me every night. I would think about my hopes, my wishes. I wished he was human and I could touch him. I wished he never had to leave."

"Sounds like you were lonely" her lover replied.

"Only child. No siblings. No cousins. Didn't make friends very easily, until Hogwarts. So yeah, I suppose I was lonely." She paused for a moment, and turned her attention from the window to him. "How about you? Tell me how you felt about the moon when you were young."

He sighed and collected his thoughts. He never spoke about his feelings with anyone, except Sirius. But now she was a part of his life, too, and he found he wanted to tell her. He breathed deeply and slowly, and began. "Uneasy, frightened… I'd try not to look at it. The larger it grew, the more uneasy I became. I could feel myself becoming someone I didn't like, someone I didn't want to be. I liked moonless nights. They were the only nights I felt I could be outside and be safe. I didn't have many friends, either, until Hogwarts. But James and Sirius changed things for me. When they learned how to transfigure, I was no longer alone, no longer worried I'd do something I'd regret. I trusted them to keep me safe. We actually had some good times, out running under the moon. But after Hogwarts, after we were separated, I was back to being alone. Back to living in fear of hurting someone. Not until Sirius returned did that change. The Wolfsbane makes a tremendous difference, of course, but only Sirius' presence makes me at ease."

It took her a moment to respond. She couldn't help but feel hurt, even though she knew he was being truthful. "And me, Remus? Do I help?"

"You help afterward, and all the days in between. But I have to tell you, Hermione, I would never let you be here if Sirius wasn't here to watch me. You'd be in danger around me, and I wouldn't allow that."

"I have a hard time believing that, Remus. I could never feel threatened by you."

"I am what I am, love. There is no changing that," he answered with a sigh.

They were silent for a while. Hermione closed her eyes and pressed her lips to his hair. Her hands moved slowly on his chest, hugging him closer to her.

Her voice again very low, she breathed in his ear, "you're my moon, Remus. You're what I longed for, what I wished for. You're the warmth that touches me, stays with me. You're who I tell my dreams to. I have no hopes or wishes apart from you."

His joy at hearing her words was bittersweet. "But I leave you, too. Just like your moon did."

She moved around the chair to stand in front of him. Placing her hands on his face, she raised it to look at hers. "Yes, but just for a day. And you always return. You always will, won't you?"

He pulled her onto his lap as he answered, "for as long as I am physically capable. For as long as you want me."


End file.
